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Writer's pictureLachlan Palmer

AI Writes: Why We Have New Car Models Every Year (A Jay Leno Monologue)


Jay Leno wearing denim pants and shirt standing beside steam powered car in garage

Hey, hey, hey! Welcome to the today show, folks. Today, we're gonna talk about something near and dear to my heart: cars. Specifically, we're gonna talk about why car manufacturers keep cranking out new models every year like there's no tomorrow. It's a little something I like to call "the new car hustle."


Now, as you know, I love cars. I mean, I really love cars. I've got more cars than most people have shoes and let me tell you, there's nothing quite like the thrill of driving a brand-new car off the lot. The smell of fresh leather, the hum of the engine, the way the sun glints off the paint job - it's pure magic.


But where did this whole "new car every year" thing come from, you might ask? Well, it all started with a little company called Chevrolet. Back in the early days of the auto industry, cars didn't change much from year to year. If you had a Model T in 1910, it wasn't gonna look all that different from a Model T in 1920 and "good ol'" Henry Ford wanted it that way. In fact he thought the Model T was the only car you'd ever need!

But then along came Chevrolet with this revolutionary idea: what if they updated their cars every year?


At first, people were sceptical. "Why do we need a new car every year?" they said. "Can't we just stick with the old one?" But Chevy knew what they were doing. They knew that if they could make people feel like they were missing out on the latest and greatest, they could sell more cars. It's like that FOMO thing the kids are all talking about.


But boy, were Chevy right. People went nuts for the new cars. Every year, they'd line up at the dealership, eager to get their hands on the newest model. It was like a game of one-upmanship - who could have the latest and greatest car on the block? And it wasn't just Chevy, either. Other car companies caught on, and pretty soon, it was a race to see who could come up with the flashiest, most attention-grabbing new models.

Now, I know what you're thinking. "Jay, isn't this just a big dirty marketing ploy? A way for car companies to get us to buy more cars than we really need?" And yeah, it kinda is. But you know what? Who cares? I love cars, you love cars, we all love cars. And if that means we get to drool over shiny new models and special editions every year, I say bring it on.


So there you have it, folks - the history of the new car hustle, as told by yours truly. Now if you'll excuse me, I've gotta go polish up my '67 Stingray - it's looking a little too last-year for my taste.


 

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